There are a number of reasons I’ve felt lonely: the first time at a new school, the first time at a new job, when I’ve got extended times alone. One of the times I’ve felt the loneliest was in a job that Christian values were not encouraged—and often not accepted. The environment itself was toxic; bad jokes were laughed at just as much as a spiritually healthy choice.

I was not great in that environment. Rather than stand for what I believed, I slowly found myself fitting in by sacrificing my values. I would have times where the Holy Spirit would convict me and I would push the reset button—reclaim ground where I had lost it. In those times, I would set myself apart, not conforming to the pattern of the world, like scripture talks about in Romans 12. Yet, on the other side of that was loneliness.

Loneliness comes with its own set of challenges. Steven Furtick, founder and lead pastor at Elevation Church, recently said the following, “Loneliness, if left untreated, becomes lust. All lust is—is the need for connection being met through something that has no ability to satisfy the need that it is trying to meet.” So, when we find areas, as I did, where we become lonely, we need to recognize and treat that loneliness.

I was able to make it through that season of feeling lonely. I’m convinced that finding my identity through Christ is what brought me through that—what helped me to stand for what I believe and not care if the people around me were with me or against me.

So, how does one find their identity in Christ? Here are four steps to try:

1) Look in scripture for who God says you are.

To combat loneliness, Jesus is your friend (John 15:15), You’re accepted by Christ (Romans 15:17), You’re set free (Galatians 5:1), Christ made you complete (Colossians 2:10). There are many other statements about who God says we are in Christ. So, search and find.

2) Get those identity scriptures in your heart.

Sometimes, we need to read things A LOT to have them penetrate. Write them in your journal every day for a month. Print them out and put them in common areas. Whatever you’ve got to do, get those identity scriptures deep inside of you to the point where you think about them throughout your day.

3) Guard your soul and your life with truth.

This is where there’s freedom. When someone would laugh at my decision not to do something, I can remember I’m accepted by Christ. When someone stops taking my calls because I “don’t talk about anything except church and God,” I can remember that Jesus is my friend. The words God says about us can become our identity at this point. When we recall HIS truth in our lives, the loneliness is stripped away.

4) Surround yourself with support.

Identity issues can be common. So, get yourself around other people and talk to them about this struggle. Try a group if you haven’t. I know it sure has helped me!

Oddly, what I found is that not all the people around me were completely different. Others, too, were making compromised choices to avoid loneliness. And I found broken hearts that needed Christ’s love. When we push through our loneliness, we can become better instruments. Rather than allowing the tool of isolation to be useful against us, imagine what can happen with a group of people with the same focus and an Almighty God… going in the same direction!

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  Lance works with missions and outreach, leading endeavors locally, around the nation as well as across the world. He also has the opportunity to work with hospitality teams around the church, creating an ideal environment for people to serve and worship.

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