I have prayed some very spiritual-sounding prayers that, looking back, weren't nearly as spiritual as they sounded.

“Lord, show me Your will.”

But sometimes what I really meant was, “Lord, please confirm what I want.”

There have been times when I kept asking God for direction when, somewhere underneath all my asking, I already knew what obedience required. I wasn't waiting for God to speak. I was hoping He might say something I wanted to hear.

And it doesn't take some spectacular act of rebellion to do this.

I can ask God whether I should spend the money when I've practically decided to buy the thing. I can ask Him to straighten out a relationship while avoiding the apology I already know I need to make. I can ask Him to change someone else when He has been quietly putting His finger on something in me.

Sometimes the issue isn't that God hasn't spoken. It's that I don't particularly like what He has said.

That's why Saul's story in 1 Samuel 28 makes me uncomfortable. His circumstances are extreme, but the tendency of his heart is surprisingly familiar.

“And when Saul enquired of the LORD, the LORD answered him not, neither by dreams, nor by Urim, nor by prophets” (v. 6).

No answer

Nothing.

Heaven was silent.

We might assume God didn't answer because Saul had sinned so greatly. And Saul certainly had. He had repeatedly disobeyed God, resisted Samuel, persecuted David, and even ordered the slaughter of the priests at Nob.

So why did he pray?

He was terrified. The Philistine army had gathered against Israel, and Scripture says that when Saul saw them, “he was afraid, and his heart greatly trembled” (1 Samuel 28:5).

But then I think of David.

David's sins were also staggering—adultery with Bathsheba followed by arranging circumstances that resulted in the death of her husband, Uriah.

So the contrast cannot simply be that Saul was a sinner and David wasn't. The difference was Saul wanted an answer so badly that when he couldn't get one from God, he went somewhere else.

Saul's problem wasn't a shortage of revelation. It was his resistance to what God had already revealed.

But when God didn't answer, Saul didn't fall on his face. He didn't confess. He didn't ask God to search his heart.

He went looking for another source. “Seek me a woman that has a familiar spirit,” he told his servants (v. 7). he wanted an answer to his situation more than he wanted to be right with God. That's chilling.

Some extinguish their faith saying, “I tried praying to God, but it didn’t work.”

Have I ever asked God for guidance while already favoring my own answer? Have I ever kept praying about something because I didn't like what obedience seemed to require? Have I ever asked God for a new word while ignoring the last one? Unfortunately, the answer is yes, to all three.

David Wanted God

David responded differently when Nathan confronted him.

“I have sinned against the LORD” (2 Samuel 12:13).

Psalm 51 lets us hear his heart:

“Wash me.”

“Cleanse me.”

“Create in me a clean heart.”

“Renew a right spirit within me.”

“Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation.”

David wasn't looking merely for an escape from consequences. He wanted restoration with God.

There’s the contrast. Saul wanted God to solve his crisis. David wanted God to cleanse his heart.

Maybe He Has Already Spoken

That brings the story back to me. How often do I ask God to speak when He has already spoken?

Forgive.

Confess.

Wait.

Give

Trust.

Stop.

Go.

Make it right.

Let it go.

Come back.

Maybe I don't need another revelation. Maybe I need to obey the one I've already received.

And yet David's story gives me enormous hope. Even great failure does not put a repentant heart beyond the mercy of God.

So when God seems silent, perhaps instead of only asking, “Lord, what should I do?”

I need to ask: “Lord, what do You want to do in me?”

“Is there something You've already told me that I haven't obeyed?”

And finally:
Do I really want God's will—or do I just want an answer?