Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

"I would get too attached." I have heard that so many times from friends and acquaintances over the past couple of years since my husband, John, and I started this fostering journey. It is the number one reason people say they do not believe fostering is right for them.

Don't get me wrong, I do get attached. Our first placement ended in chaos and I thought my heart was literally breaking. I still wonder what those three little boys are doing now. I still dream about them, and I still cry because they are so much a part of me. It hurts. Fostering takes so much out of you and gives back a lot of yuck in return. After that placement ended, we decided we were not going to foster anymore.

I guess God had other plans because, within 24 hours, He brought us a 16-year-old, who will soon become a permanent part of our family through adoption. Our lives have gone from chaos to nervousness, to instant love, to guilt, joy, on to helplessness, and you can throw in some exhaustion and frustration to make the intricate cycle of fostering complete.

So why do we still do it, even when we know that there will be moments it hurts so much that we can barely breathe? We certainly don’t do it for the accolades. We do it because we know God will not abandon us in the middle of the chaos.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

We foster because we would rather these kids know our imperfect love than not knowing any love at all. We do it because we may be the only people that hug them while not high on drugs. We do it because someone needs to help them carry their hurt because they aren't strong enough to carry it on their own. We do it because we were called to do it.

Have you ever felt a nudge from God that resulted in making a life-changing decision? John and I both felt the nudge to foster at the same time and that was a miracle in and of itself. God has put these children in our lives for a reason. However, whether that reason is intended for us to help these children grow, or for them to help us grow, I am not sure.

Of one thing I am certain, there is absolutely no reason that any child should be sleeping in a DCS office because I am too afraid it might hurt me to give them a bed...or a home…or my heart. It would be selfish to deny them the opportunity to be loved because I am too afraid that I might love them, and then lose them.

Getting attached has been the greatest pleasure and honor of my entire life. I wouldn't trade the love, or the pain, for anything. We may not do it right all the time, but we will keep trying as long as we are called to foster. We will continue to grow attached because we know that God has a plan for these children, and for us.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

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  Craig Philbrick

Mary Gemmer is the Office Manager, as well as the Administrative Assistant to the Lead and Executive Pastors.

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