If ever the clouds looked like cotton candy, this morning was a canvas full of it. Mid-sky and surrounding all I could see above the trees, these billowy pillows were fluffy and dense, a pink reflecting sunlight peeping between every curvy fluff. Under each peachy ring was a golden tinge, then dense, white, cotton-looking, classic-cloud curves, with an ever-so-light blue sky making a backdrop for this bright morning sunrise. The sight struck me dumb as I followed the curve of a roundabout, suddenly met with this golden and glowing masterpiece. Through the breaks, beams of sunlight were shining in streaks of diagonals toward the earth. As all of this entered my vision, I had only one thought:

God?

A week ago, I could not see colors like this. Or rather, I could not appreciate them. Rather than clouds, a depressive season had cultivated a figurative fog, surrounding me daily and skewing all my perspective. I sat in the dark most days. If I was looking at nature, I was simply seeing it – colors were mute. Grass and trees were dull. Sky simply was; there was no beauty in most of what I took in. Food had less taste. Sleep was unrestful. Seven days ago, I was lost – numb. Unwanting.

Yet, six days ago, I was rebaptized.

And something changed.

That may seem obvious to most, but I thought this baptism was in obedience and public proclamation, not a renewing or transformative moment. I had already been baptized once at a young age, rededicated my life privately to Jesus a couple years ago. I had already received the Holy Spirit and had been walking out my new life for Christ – rebaptism felt like it was going to be mostly symbolic. It felt like this was just a proper shout-out and declaration on behalf of our Lord Most High. Yet as water slowly cupped my ears, my jaw, my cheeks, my eyes – I didn’t feel cold or wet. I felt enveloped. As I was submerged, I heard one booming word:

“NEW.”

Imagine my surprise. And imagine my even bigger surprise when, the next morning, I woke with a praise song about new beginnings in my mind, and suddenly…the fog had lifted. I wanted things. I wanted to go outside. I wanted to care for my body. I made wise choices for the day instead of dissociating in scrolling, screens, and darkness. I read a devotional on the love of God being free and unearnable and actually believed it (something I struggled against for the last couple years).

Now, in just a handful of days, coming around this roundabout to the simple, beautiful, grand, giant and cloud-filled, glowing and beaming sky – it was apparent the love of the Lord follows the honor of obedience. He will honor those who honor him (1 Samuel 2:30). Any sacrifice we offer up to the Lord, any surrender, can be met with restoration, renewal, healing, and hope.

If you’ve wondered about making a commitment of baptism again or for the first time, and thought - like I did - that it would just be a ritualistic or symbolic moment, I present you with a reason to reconsider.

Why not now?
Why not for God?
You never know how he will show up and make things NEW.