A Fresh Perspective on Singleness

November 7, 2017 | Leah Kurtz

My single seasons have not been easy. The hardest part was the loneliness I often experienced. However, in the midst of my loneliness, I learned that my single seasons had the potential to be filled with spiritual growth.

What if our single seasons were filled with an awareness of God’s presence? What if our singleness brought spiritual growth into our lives and changed the lives of those around us? Below are several ways each of us, single or married, can use our time to bring life and growth into our relationship with Christ.

#1: Spend time with Jesus.

James 4:8  - “Come near to God and he will come near to you.”

As a single person, I had a greater amount of time to draw near to God and work on my relationship with him. Because I wasn’t spending my time with a boyfriend, I had the opportunity to focus on Jesus and I fell more and more in love with my Savior. It’s so easy to fill our time binging on Netflix or wallowing in self-pity, but extra time with Jesus is worth it! I would also encourage you to go beyond reading your Bible. Explore new ways to spend time with God. Take a walk with Jesus, shut your bedroom door and go crazy in worship, write out your thoughts and prayers in a journal, go out to coffee with God, take a drive and talk to Jesus like you would with your best friend. Spending time with God in new ways can bring a fresh wind into our relationship with Him.

#2: Learn how to hear God’s voice.

John 10:4 - “...his sheep follow him because they know his voice.”

 As followers of God, each of us should be able to recognize his voice. How do we learn to hear his voice? Practice! Start by asking God questions and then take an extended amount of time to pause and listen. I love to journal. When something is on my heart I often write it all out, the good, the bad and the ugly. After journaling through my thoughts, I invite God to speak into everything I wrote down. When I take the time to pause and listen, God speaks. He brings peace in the chaos, comfort in the pain, and He celebrates with me in the joyful moments. In our relationship with Jesus, we should never be the only person talking. Take time to listen.

#3: Explore who God is.

Psalm 147:5 - “How great is our Lord! His power is absolute. His understanding is beyond comprehension!”

We will never be able to discover or comprehend every aspect of God. Isn’t that exciting? Use your time to dig deep and explore the vast love and the never-ending characteristics of who the Father is, who the son is, and who the Holy Spirit is.

At one point in my life, Dawn Morehouse, an amazing prayer warrior, and friend, asked me who I prayed to. Did I pray to the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit? I realized that I almost always prayed to the Father. While this wasn’t a bad thing, Dawn encouraged me to pray to the Son or the Holy Spirit as well, depending on what I was facing. For example, if I needed a friend through my loneliness, I could pray to Jesus who is our Savior and our friend. If I needed direction for a decision I was making, I could pray to the Holy Spirit who is the teacher that Jesus sent us.

During your single season, ask many questions about who the three-in-one God is. What are the characteristics of our Father in heaven? What are the characteristics of Jesus, our Savior, and friend? What are the characteristics of the Holy Spirit that guide and direct us? When you think of God as three separate beings, also known as the Trinity, it brings a new realization that God is way bigger than we could ever think or imagine. I encourage you to explore every aspect of who He is.

#4: Step up and Serve

Galatians 5:13 - “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”

Use your time to be the hands and feet of Jesus. This winter, explore serving at Project Warm, sign up for Second Saturday serve, shovel your neighbor’s driveway, babysit for free, or start a Vineyard Group. Think outside of yourself and give away the time God has given you to pour into others.

 As a teenager, I served regularly on the Student Worship Team. That season blessed me in so many ways. It not only gave me something to do as a single person, but I also learned how to grow in the gifts that God had given me and I fell more in love with Jesus each time I worshiped Him.


Finally, Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” As a single person or a married person, seek Jesus first. Make time for Him, get to know who He is, listen to His voice and give time to serve Him. Make God your number one priority. Don’t wait, start today!


Cameron Kirby

 Leah Pope is the Director of Worship. In this position, she gets to lead worship for our Weekend Celebrations and special events as well as lead and shepherd all of the worship teams. Leah's favorite place to eat is Olive Garden - but then again, who doesn't love that bread?